There’s a moment in almost every good conversation between men where the small talk drops away and something real shows up. That’s exactly what happened when I sat down with Daryl Dittmer on his podcast, Show Up. What was supposed to be a simple guest interview turned into one of those rare, honest exchanges about masculinity, brotherhood, and what it actually means to keep showing up for your life, even when nobody’s watching.
Daryl opened the conversation by talking about being a fan of “man being men,” and I couldn’t agree more. We live in a culture that’s forgotten how to talk about masculinity without flinching. The “toxic masculinity” narrative gets all the airtime, but the truth is simpler and better than that: men need other men. We need brotherhood, accountability, and the kind of friendship that isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions.
THE ROAD TRIP THAT WASN’T ABOUT COFFEE
I told Daryl the story behind my book, True Man True Ways—how my buddy Paul Baily and I used to call each other and say, “Hey, you want to go get coffee?” It was never really about the coffee. It was about hopping in the car, driving to a shop just over the North Carolina border, and being trapped together long enough to actually talk. How’s your family? How are you really doing? That’s where the walls come down. That’s where brotherhood gets built, not in a boardroom, but in a car with nowhere else to be.
THE LOCKER ROOM AND THE READY POSITION
Daryl and I both landed on something we’d never planned: sports as a doorway into deeper truths about being a man. I talked about my years as a manager on a Division I basketball team, how I don’t remember the games, but I remember the locker room. The preparation. The brotherhood of getting ready to compete together. I’ve spent half my adulthood trying to recapture what that felt like, and I found it again through men’s small groups, mentorship, and now through this work.
We also talked about what I call the “ready position”—that stance in the outfield where you’re moving right, left, right before the pitch ever comes. Too many men are stuck waiting for someone else to make the first move. Life doesn’t wait. You have to be in motion, ready for whatever’s coming, because the next pitch, the next opportunity for growth, the next mentor, the next hard conversation, won’t wait for you to get comfortable first.
THE KITCHEN TABLE MOMENT
One of the most vulnerable parts of our talk was when I shared the story of sitting at my kitchen table with my wife, roughly twenty years ago, admitting I wasn’t happy or fulfilled in my career and had no idea what came next. Crocodile tears and all. That conversation became the bottom of the mountain I needed to start climbing, becoming a stay-at-home dad, going back for my undergraduate and graduate degrees, and eventually building the life and mission I’m living out today. It didn’t feel like progress at the time. Looking back, it was the beginning of everything.
GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY
We spent real time on the heart behind American Family Renaissance, the conviction that this country doesn’t recover until families do, and families don’t recover until men step back into leadership at the dinner table. I talked about how the family dinner table is where kids learn to disagree well, to talk, to be present, and how far we’ve drifted from it. Restoring those three things, God, family, and country, isn’t nostalgia. It’s the work.
LOOKING IN THE MIRROR
Daryl pulled a line from my site, that sometimes the breakthrough isn’t about working harder, it’s about seeing the battle differently, and asked me to unpack it. My answer came back to authenticity: if I’m calling men to live with integrity, I’d better be willing to look in the mirror myself and let people who love me speak into my blind spots. That’s not weakness. That’s the whole point.
This episode is a good one, brothers. If you’ve ever felt like you’re fighting alone, or like the version of masculinity you were handed doesn’t quite fit, give it a listen. You’ll walk away with a renewed sense that the brotherhood you’ve been missing is closer than you think, you just have to show up for it.
Watch and Listen:
- YouTube: The Brotherhood We’ve Been Missing
- Spotify: Listen on Spotify
- Apple Podcasts: Listen on Apple
- Amazon Music: Listen on Amazon Music
- Learn more about Daryl Dittmer and Show Up: daryldittmer.com/podcast
About Mike Van Pelt
Mike Van Pelt is the Founder and CEO of True Man Life Coaching and Founder of American Family Renaissance, a faith-based mission dedicated to restoring God, Family, and Country in the lives of men across America. As a mentor, speaker, author, and host of the True Man Podcast, Mike helps Christian men break free from isolation, reclaim their God-given identity, and lead with authenticity, character, and conviction. Listen to more conversations like this one at truemanpodcast.com.