There is a moment in every man’s story where everything shifts.
Not because he finally figured it out. Not because the circumstances lined up perfectly. But because he stopped running from God long enough to hear what God had been trying to say all along.
I recently joined David W. Ebel on the God Says Yes podcast. We covered identity, redemption, men’s community, marriage, faith in the middle of uncertainty, and what it actually means to follow Jesus as a man in today’s world.
David has spent over fifty years in ministry showing people how much God loves them and how much He wants to do beautiful things in their lives. That mission came through in every moment of our conversation. This was not a performance. It was a communion.
FROM IDENTITY CRISIS TO CALLING
I opened up about a season of my life that many men will recognize immediately, even if they have never said it out loud.
I had done everything right on paper. Moved for my wife’s career. Pursued education. Volunteered. Served in the church. Got my master’s degree. Earned certifications. And still, door after door closed. Rejection after rejection. And because I had tied my identity to my career and my performance, every no felt like a verdict on who I was as a man.
I was full of shame. I was lost. And I was trying to figure it out entirely on my own.
What broke that cycle was not a better strategy. It was a men’s small group, a retreat weekend, and a moment on a Saturday morning where God made something unmistakably clear to me: “You are my beloved son. I want an intimate relationship with you.”
Everything that exists today, True Man Life Coaching, American Family Renaissance, the True Man Podcast, the books, the speaking, and the mission flow directly from that moment. God said yes to something in me before I even knew what to ask for.
WHAT THE CHURCH IS MISSING
David and I talked honestly about something that doesn’t get enough direct conversation: the growing absence of men in the church and why it is happening.
Men were not invited to step in. They did not know how to fit. The environment did not always make room for the weight of what men actually carry. And so they checked out, not from God, but from the institutional expression of faith that was meant to be their community.
A better program does not fill that gap. It is brotherhood. Real men, in real conversation, go deeper than the surface and discover what David said so well: we are custom-made. Created from the inside out. And God has a plan for every single soul, including those who feel the most lost right now.
THE POWER OF SMALL GROUP AND GETTING OFF THE SHALLOW END
One of the things I am most passionate about, and that David and I spent real time on, is the power of men’s small groups done right.
Not a Bible study where men show up, say the right things, and leave unchanged. A mastermind. A circle of men willing to go deeper than the latest sports score and ask the questions that actually matter: Who am I? What am I carrying? What do I need? What is God saying to me right now?
Every time I have been in a group like that, I have watched the same thing happen. One man opens up about something he has been carrying alone for years. And another man across the circle says, “Oh, you too?”
That moment, that simple recognition that you are not alone in your struggle, is one of the most healing things a man can experience. Your story is not meant to stay buried. Someone else has walked where you are walking. And the moment you are willing to share it, it stops being a source of shame and starts becoming a source of ministry.
Coffee shops. Fire pits. Church buildings. Wherever you gather, gather. Scripture says where two or more come together, it is church. The location matters far less than the willingness to go deep.
FAITH IN THE MIDDLE OF UNCERTAINTY
Our conversation also touched on something very personal and very current for me—my wife and I are preparing to relocate to Northwest Arkansas, with no job lined up for her and no guarantee of what comes next.
We prayed about it. We meditated on it. We evaluated what we actually wanted—a strong church, a real community, proximity to family, and a slower pace of life. And we decided to move toward what God seemed to be calling us to, even without having every answer in place first.
The people around us called it crazy. I called it faith.
Here is what I have learned about certainty: we spend so much energy waiting for it that we miss the fact that we already have everything we need to take the next step. God does not always deliver fast answers. But He is always running toward us — faster than we are running to Him — and sometimes all we have to do is stop long enough to see it.
You do not need all the answers. You need enough faith to move. The rest gets revealed in the moving.
WHAT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ASK
I shared something in this conversation that has become central to everything I teach:
Don’t you want to know what is on the other side of the ask?
If you never raise your hand, if you never ask God, ask a mentor, ask a brother, ask for help—you will never discover what was waiting there for you. A new story. A new hope. A new direction. A new version of yourself that could not have emerged any other way.
Jesus asked 339 questions recorded in Scripture. A man who knew every answer asked more questions than anyone around Him. Because Jesus understood that questions build relationships. And relationship is what we were designed for—with God, with each other, with ourselves.
We are more connected than any generation in history and more isolated than any generation in history. The phones are in our hands, and the loneliness is in our chests. The answer to that is not more content. It is more community. It is men who are willing to put the phone down, pull up a chair, and actually show up for each other.
THE BOOK AND THE MISSION
I also got to share about True Man, True Ways, A Roadmap of Discovery to the Masculine Heart. At its core, the book is built on one simple conviction: Jesus Christ walked the earth as the first and ultimate True Man. He is the model. Not a standard of perfection we earn our way toward, but a person we follow, and as we follow Him, we draw closer to ourselves, to our families, and to the communities we are called to serve.
Most powerful words He ever spoke: Follow me.
That is still the whole assignment.
WATCH & LISTEN
▶️ YouTube: Watch the full conversation
🎧 Apple Podcasts: Listen on Apple Podcasts
🌐 Get True Man, True Ways and more: truemanlifecoaching.com
Mike Van Pelt is the founder of True Man Life Coaching and American Family Renaissance — Five-Time Bestselling Author, Men’s Mentor, Speaker, and host of the True Man Podcast. He helps men reclaim their God-given identity so they can lead strong families, live with purpose and conviction, and help restore the moral and spiritual foundation of the American family.